"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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