I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
should my penis look like a turkey
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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