thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
