Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
