dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
