"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think your dad took our porno
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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