I don't think brook has ever known best
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
