maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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