i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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