Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
