i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
