My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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