First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize