you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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