4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sry I called you an 8
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize