You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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