somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
operation harelip BJ is a go
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Randomize
