i just google imaged poop.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
