He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
