It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
