It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
