am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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