This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
