Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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