Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
