He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
