I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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