Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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