she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
