47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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