Sry I called you an 8
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
