Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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