let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
