you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
