before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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