So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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