That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Your cock deserves a montage
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
