break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
