Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
