i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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