We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
