She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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