the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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