woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
