Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize