The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
