I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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