He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize