I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
