Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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