are you still at the devil's house?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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