I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize