Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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