Whod you bang
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize