Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize