i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
