Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
