After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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