The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize