I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
